Obsessed

Since I officially registered for the Hartford Half Marathon, I have become obsessed with running and numbers, like my miles, my pace, calories burned, etc. I check my dailymile.com multiple times a day, like its going to change, just to see where I'm at, and what I can accomplish. Right now, I'm obsessed with my ending mileage for September. I'm on target for a record month.

I'm scared shitless of the half marathon, and I'm not exactly sure why. I am succeeding with my long runs. I usually stop once, and my pace is usually on target. I think its the fear of the unknown more than anything. I'm also scared that the weekend before I'm headed to NYC for my mom's 60th and for some reason I believe that this is going to throw off all the training I have been doing. I also haven't followed a specific training plan. I've just been running 4 times a week, including getting up at 5 am at least twice a week to go to the gym before work, a long run on Saturdays and a recovery run on Sundays. If I don't get up on a planned day, I freak out but I know sometimes I just need rest and I know that I wouldn't have a quality run if I don't allow myself some downtime.

I'm already planning the whole experience. I've planned to take Friday off (the run is on Saturday). I do have traffic court on Friday morning, but after that I'm planning to head to Hartford so I can go to the Expo and get my number, etc. I haven't planned out my outfit or music yet but I do have 3 weeks to go. I booked a hotel, about 4 miles from the start. Usually I would freak out about the distance between the hotel and the race, but another friend and runner will be staying at the same hotel.

To my benefit, I am constantly asking people for advice. I know quite a few people that are active runners and I'm always trying to gain knowledge about do's and don'ts. My boss has brought me a ton of old running magazines and I'm always reading to see what else I could be doing or noting things I've already done. To say that training consumes your life is a bit of an understatement. I'm constantly freaking out about what more I could be doing, how much more I could focus on my diet. The one thing I haven't freaked out about is my alcohol intake. I've been so careful about how much I drink, its a bit ridiculous. I allow myself a glass of wine maybe 2-3 times a week, but no more. I know that drinking anything more makes me slow and I refuse to allow that to effect my long runs, or any runs at all.

I tried obsessing my weight, that didn't last long. I was competing in an office competition, but really weight loss and training don't go hand in hand. Admittedly, I lost 7 pounds, but gained 2 back. I definitely lost inches on top, and I've lost inches on my waist. However, the shear amount of food that I consume is ridiculous at times. Today especially, I've been eating all day constantly. This usually happens after a great workout or a long run, but sometimes I'd like to not be hungry all the time. I'm pretty sure my office mates think I have an eating disorder. I eat all day and I'm constantly going to the bathroom due to my water intake.

Happily, I did purchase 2 dresses that I never thought I could wear and they look really good. I'm happy that although my weight by number isn't exactly wear I'd like it to be, my clothes fit well and I don't have my usual gut. After the marathon, I want to continue with running, but I'd like to work on toning and triming the fat.

Only 23 days to go!