Ok, so I feel like I unintentionally abandoned my blog, so I'm here to reclaim it! Here goes: finally, after all the hard work, sweat and tears, I passed the bar! I don't think I could have been more elated and emotional about it. I actually happened a few weeks ago, but I just haven't had the time to sit down and write about it.
It was Wednesday, October 28th and I was driving back from an afternoon in Manchester. I got a text from Sue, stating that she saw on a website that Mass bar results were out. I immediately panicked and had to pull the car over. I had been waiting weeks for this day, but I was suddenly so unprepared for it. I had already been to the mailbox once that day, and with living in a small town, the mail only comes once a day. Either way, it was close to five o'clock so I knew I had to at least try to get there before 5pm to check the mail again.
I ran in and went straight to our P.O. Box. I open it and staring at me is a letter. I freaked. I picked up and of course, it was junk mail. It was such a tease! I get back home and I'm a mess. I'm all freaked out about the results. I was pacing, couldn't sit still and generally a nervous wreck. We discussed a plan for the morning.
Generally the mail isn't out until 10am. Therefore, the plan was for Pete and I (I couldn't do it alone) to head to the mail box at 10 am. I could hardly sleep that night. I woke up at 9 am on Thursday and tried to force myself to stay in bed longer. I didn't want to rush to the mailbox and not have it be there. Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I got up and rushed around throwing clothes on. Tim yelled to me because he couldn't understand what I was doing. I finally just said, I have to go, now! I can't wait. Even if its not there, I can't wait any longer.
Tim asked if he could join me, and I told him yes as long as he was dressed to leave immediately. We jumped into his car and sped off to the post office, maybe a 2 mile drive away. So we get there. I throw my seat belt off and am rushing to get out of the car. Tim decided to come with me. We go to the box, and for a brief moment, I tried to stop and remember this day, because I knew it would be good. Finally, I opened the box, and there it was. The letter I had been waiting for. I screamed, "Its here, its right on top." I couldn't contain the excitement.
We grabbed the letter, but I couldn't leave without first getting Pete and Beth's mail too. I thought that would only be appropriate. We get to the car, and we're both unsure of what to do next. So I gave Tim the letter, he held it, and then he had the dog kiss it for good luck. He handed it back to me, but I couldn't open it right away. I was just trying to soak it all in, and say my last minute prayers. But before I opened it, I flipped it over, and right through the paper, I could clearly see "Congratulations!" I went a little crazy. I must have yelled something like "I passed," but Tim couldn't understand what was going on. I ripped open the letter and started reading it. I dawned on him what i was trying to tell him. We were yelling, hugging and I was crying. It was so emotional.
We left the post office and I immediately called my mom. She answered the phone and while I am still crying, I just blurted out "I passed!" Of course, she starts crying on the phone too.
It was such an emotional day. I cried, I celebrated and I felt at ease, for the first time in a long time. I am being sworn in on Tuesday, and I can't wait for this part of the journey to be over. Its still hard to believe that on Tuesday I will be a licensed attorney!
In other news, I also have a job interview lined up next week. After all the cover letters, writing samples and resumes I've sent out, I've finally started to see results. Even if this job doesn't come to fruition, its a start. No matter what happens, things are looking up and I have a lot of people to thank for that!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Epiphany
A few days ago, I finally had this amazing epiphany about my life and what I've been going through. When I first failed the bar, I was devastated and in complete denial. I went through this period where I thought the bar was going to send me this letter and let me know there was a mix-up, that I really had passed the bar. I was so deep in denial that I had failed.
When I really started studying in Kentucky, I was able to move past the denial and get down to work. Clearly being a lawyer is something I have always wanted to be, and I'm not going to give it up.
I was in the kitchen a few days ago with the Petes, and Big Pete turned to me and said, "I think you're here for a reason right now." I didn't have to stop and think because I completely agreed with him. I think everything that I've gone through in the past year was for a reason. I think I failed the bar because I needed to realize my life wasn't going in a good direction. I also think I failed the bar because it forced me to leave a relationship, that already wasn't working.
I think it all happened for a reason. It gave me a wonderful summer with my parents and Freddie, which I probably would have never had but for failing the bar. It gave me re-direction on my life and determination to reach my goals. It also reminded me that NH is home. Coming here after a summer in Kentucky, I now know I want to be in NH; this is my home and always will be. Finally, I am ok and I am at peace with the fact that I failed the bar.
I feel like as horrible as it was when I failed the bar and how devastated I was, its ok now. I am going to be a lawyer, I am going to get a job and I am going to achieve my goals.
When I really started studying in Kentucky, I was able to move past the denial and get down to work. Clearly being a lawyer is something I have always wanted to be, and I'm not going to give it up.
I was in the kitchen a few days ago with the Petes, and Big Pete turned to me and said, "I think you're here for a reason right now." I didn't have to stop and think because I completely agreed with him. I think everything that I've gone through in the past year was for a reason. I think I failed the bar because I needed to realize my life wasn't going in a good direction. I also think I failed the bar because it forced me to leave a relationship, that already wasn't working.
I think it all happened for a reason. It gave me a wonderful summer with my parents and Freddie, which I probably would have never had but for failing the bar. It gave me re-direction on my life and determination to reach my goals. It also reminded me that NH is home. Coming here after a summer in Kentucky, I now know I want to be in NH; this is my home and always will be. Finally, I am ok and I am at peace with the fact that I failed the bar.
I feel like as horrible as it was when I failed the bar and how devastated I was, its ok now. I am going to be a lawyer, I am going to get a job and I am going to achieve my goals.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tribute to Freddie
Freddie, our dear golden retriever, unfortunately passed away today. He's been sick for quite some time and the vet finally told my parents today that it was cancer, they just couldn't locate it in his body. Because he's been losing so much weight and inability to control his body, the vet said it was really time for him. My parents were with him when he was put to sleep and they're both crushed from his loss.
Freddie was a very loyal dog, and enjoyed most of his days with my dad, at work. He went every day until this summer. Since I was home all day, my dad would leave him with me while I studied because all he did was sleep anyway. He did enjoy our study breaks for a snack and quick walk to the mailbox. He even enjoyed laying out by the pool. As long as someone was close by, Freddie was happy.
Freddie came to us from a rescue shelter in Alabama. When he was found, they believed he was likely about 8 years old and had been on the street for sometime. Although we only had Freddie for 6 years, he was a great addition to our family and will surely be missed.
Below are some of my favorite pictures of Freddie from this summer.
Freddie looks kinda unhappy in this last picture. I think that's because it was the day I left Kentucky and the last time I got to see him.
Freddie was a very loyal dog, and enjoyed most of his days with my dad, at work. He went every day until this summer. Since I was home all day, my dad would leave him with me while I studied because all he did was sleep anyway. He did enjoy our study breaks for a snack and quick walk to the mailbox. He even enjoyed laying out by the pool. As long as someone was close by, Freddie was happy.
Freddie came to us from a rescue shelter in Alabama. When he was found, they believed he was likely about 8 years old and had been on the street for sometime. Although we only had Freddie for 6 years, he was a great addition to our family and will surely be missed.
Below are some of my favorite pictures of Freddie from this summer.
Freddie looks kinda unhappy in this last picture. I think that's because it was the day I left Kentucky and the last time I got to see him.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Working hard for the money....
I've been in NH about 4 weeks now, and I've been working pretty hard ever since. I've enjoyed working since I haven't done it in months. However, I have to admit its been hard. Its not easy to go from studying all day 7 days a week to working 9-10 hour days.
During late August and Early September, I worked usually 9 am to about 9/10pm. I would get up, walk Bailey (the family dog and my new BFF), shower, then head to the boats. Since the boats were still running during the week, they needed to be cleaned daily also. I would spend a few hours cleaning both boats, then I would start my shift for the daily tour on the MV Sunapee. Mostly I sold tickets, chatted with passengers, and tied/untied the boat at docking and launching.
After my shift there, I would either head back to the restaurant to work the dinner shift, or move to the MV Kearsarge to get ready for the dinner cruise boat. I really enjoy working the boats, because you get to know people. Most people are generally polite and interested to talk to you. However, there's always that mischievous/rude few that get the galley up in a roar.
A few weeks ago, we got hit by Hurricane Danny. For the most part it was really only rain, except for the wind and rain on the lake. When you work on boats, weather can be issue, even though we do sail rain or shine. Unfortunately yesterday though, the rain was so strong that it took 2 of us to pull in one of the boats in order to dock it properly. In the process of doing that, one of the poles we were supposed to tie up to, broke off the dock and sank, proving to make the process 100 times harder. The pole was fixed but it was quite the adventure that day.
Other than that, I've started focusing more on job searching. For a while I really wasn't sure where I wanted to be and what I was going to do. Now, I've narrowed it down a little and I'm really considering permanently settling in NH. I've even applied for a few positions here. The only downfall to all this: I would have to take the NH bar in February. Some people think I am gluten for punishment. Three bars in a row?? But really, I've always loved NH and while I enjoyed my time in Boston, I don't want to settle down there. However, I would consider the north shore and/or south shore, if I found the right job for me.
For a while now, I've even allowed myself to forget about the bar and the pending results. But I'm really starting to get anxious now. I know many people are pulling for me, as I am pulling for my self, but I'm just ready to know already.
I'm also back to babysitting. This weekend, I am with Walker (3.5) and Barrett (1.5), while their parents are away at a wedding in Maine. Over the 4th of July, I also spent the weekend with Walker and Bear while their parents were at a wedding in Denver. They're great little boys and a lot of fun. However, at the end of the weekend, I'm pretty exhausted from chasing after them.
On a sadder note, our dear golden Freddie is not doing so well these days. The vet is pretty sure he has some sort of internal infection, yet they haven't figured out just what yet. I know he's old, but that doesn't make it easy.
Below is a favorite picture of Freddie and our time together, this summer in Kentucky.
During late August and Early September, I worked usually 9 am to about 9/10pm. I would get up, walk Bailey (the family dog and my new BFF), shower, then head to the boats. Since the boats were still running during the week, they needed to be cleaned daily also. I would spend a few hours cleaning both boats, then I would start my shift for the daily tour on the MV Sunapee. Mostly I sold tickets, chatted with passengers, and tied/untied the boat at docking and launching.
After my shift there, I would either head back to the restaurant to work the dinner shift, or move to the MV Kearsarge to get ready for the dinner cruise boat. I really enjoy working the boats, because you get to know people. Most people are generally polite and interested to talk to you. However, there's always that mischievous/rude few that get the galley up in a roar.
A few weeks ago, we got hit by Hurricane Danny. For the most part it was really only rain, except for the wind and rain on the lake. When you work on boats, weather can be issue, even though we do sail rain or shine. Unfortunately yesterday though, the rain was so strong that it took 2 of us to pull in one of the boats in order to dock it properly. In the process of doing that, one of the poles we were supposed to tie up to, broke off the dock and sank, proving to make the process 100 times harder. The pole was fixed but it was quite the adventure that day.
Other than that, I've started focusing more on job searching. For a while I really wasn't sure where I wanted to be and what I was going to do. Now, I've narrowed it down a little and I'm really considering permanently settling in NH. I've even applied for a few positions here. The only downfall to all this: I would have to take the NH bar in February. Some people think I am gluten for punishment. Three bars in a row?? But really, I've always loved NH and while I enjoyed my time in Boston, I don't want to settle down there. However, I would consider the north shore and/or south shore, if I found the right job for me.
For a while now, I've even allowed myself to forget about the bar and the pending results. But I'm really starting to get anxious now. I know many people are pulling for me, as I am pulling for my self, but I'm just ready to know already.
I'm also back to babysitting. This weekend, I am with Walker (3.5) and Barrett (1.5), while their parents are away at a wedding in Maine. Over the 4th of July, I also spent the weekend with Walker and Bear while their parents were at a wedding in Denver. They're great little boys and a lot of fun. However, at the end of the weekend, I'm pretty exhausted from chasing after them.
On a sadder note, our dear golden Freddie is not doing so well these days. The vet is pretty sure he has some sort of internal infection, yet they haven't figured out just what yet. I know he's old, but that doesn't make it easy.
Below is a favorite picture of Freddie and our time together, this summer in Kentucky.
Monday, August 24, 2009
No one said this was going to be easy....
I've officially arrived and begun settling in, in Bradford. The road trip left a little to be desired though. On Saturday, I realized my phone was broken and wouldn't charge, so I couldn't call everyone I know anymore to keep my entertained, rather than talking to myself I also got extremely lost in the DC area and ended up at Fort Myers. I tried explaining to the guard that I just needed to make a u-turn, but alas I had to go to the "search the vehicle" tent. I did manage to avoid getting searched since I kept insisting I was only needing to turn around. Because the directions were unclear off the exit, I spent an extra 75 minutes or so in the car, trying to find Sue and Lokesh's house. Boy was I happy and relieved to have a reprieve from the car for a few hours.
Saturday night, we stayed in and Hamad (a good friend from Law School) came over to join us for a Wii bowling tournament. Although I'd never played any Wii activity before, I won 2 out of the 3 bowling sets.
On Sunday morning, Sue, Lokesh and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast buffet at the nearby Marriott. I hit the road around noon and of course, immediately got lost trying to get out of the city. It took me a good hour plus to get in the right direction and an ok route to travel. I spent the rest of the day traveling the roads less traveled and mostly in the dark, in and around Upstate New York and Vermont.
Traveling through Vermont was by far the worst, though. The directions I got sent me through the back roads of Vermont. While I'm sure it would have been a very nice scenic trip through Vermont during the daytime, at night time in the rain, not so much. It just seemed like I was never going to get on a road that was remotely familiar or even not so scary.
Eventually at 10:30ish on Sunday night, I finally arrived in the beautiful Bradford, NH. While most people probably would not understand my love and appreciation of Bradford, if you live in the city long enough, you would appreciate Bradford for all it has to offer. Of course I'm extremely happy to be somewhere I refer to as "home," I haven't felt as settled and comfortable as I would like. I know that will come with time, as most things do in my life, but seriously, I'm so anxious to get this chapter of my life over with.
"No one said this was going to be easy, but no one said it would be this hard. "The past year has been so amiss of anything satisfying. Sometimes, I really feel like things should be a little easier than they are. However, I know that when it does finally come to me, I will be extremely appreciative and satisfied that all my hard work has finally paid off. Someday, I will practice law and I will understand struggles that many others have not had the pains of dealing with. My hope is that one day I can share that with other law students, who also understand these struggles, and help them to overcome these issues.
So now that I'm in NH, what is a girl to do with herself? Well, work at the restaurant/boats starts tomorrow, for me, and I'll be working a lot. I need it though; not working can be a complete drain, since I crave being busy and feeling like I am actually doing something with my time rather than sitting around doing nothing.
"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats."-- Bertie C. Forbes
Saturday night, we stayed in and Hamad (a good friend from Law School) came over to join us for a Wii bowling tournament. Although I'd never played any Wii activity before, I won 2 out of the 3 bowling sets.
On Sunday morning, Sue, Lokesh and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast buffet at the nearby Marriott. I hit the road around noon and of course, immediately got lost trying to get out of the city. It took me a good hour plus to get in the right direction and an ok route to travel. I spent the rest of the day traveling the roads less traveled and mostly in the dark, in and around Upstate New York and Vermont.
Traveling through Vermont was by far the worst, though. The directions I got sent me through the back roads of Vermont. While I'm sure it would have been a very nice scenic trip through Vermont during the daytime, at night time in the rain, not so much. It just seemed like I was never going to get on a road that was remotely familiar or even not so scary.
Eventually at 10:30ish on Sunday night, I finally arrived in the beautiful Bradford, NH. While most people probably would not understand my love and appreciation of Bradford, if you live in the city long enough, you would appreciate Bradford for all it has to offer. Of course I'm extremely happy to be somewhere I refer to as "home," I haven't felt as settled and comfortable as I would like. I know that will come with time, as most things do in my life, but seriously, I'm so anxious to get this chapter of my life over with.
"No one said this was going to be easy, but no one said it would be this hard. "The past year has been so amiss of anything satisfying. Sometimes, I really feel like things should be a little easier than they are. However, I know that when it does finally come to me, I will be extremely appreciative and satisfied that all my hard work has finally paid off. Someday, I will practice law and I will understand struggles that many others have not had the pains of dealing with. My hope is that one day I can share that with other law students, who also understand these struggles, and help them to overcome these issues.
So now that I'm in NH, what is a girl to do with herself? Well, work at the restaurant/boats starts tomorrow, for me, and I'll be working a lot. I need it though; not working can be a complete drain, since I crave being busy and feeling like I am actually doing something with my time rather than sitting around doing nothing.
"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats."-- Bertie C. Forbes
Sunday, August 16, 2009
My time is coming to an end....
I can't believe I've been living in Kentucky for just about 3 months. I have to say when I first made the decision to come to Kentucky, it was a decision that I was really forced to make and it wasn't an easy to decision to make. While I was apprehensive at first, Kentucky has really treated me well this summer. Its given me a chance at a new beginning on making a life for myself, one that I know will be exactly what I want and how I want it!
Surprisingly, Kentucky has been really peaceful and relaxing. There's not much to stress about here, and being around the animals has been pretty awesome too. I've also managed to lose a little more than 10 pounds.
For the first time in a long time, I can say I'm truly happy. It almost brings me to tears to say that. It sounds like such a cliche, but with everything that happened, I was forced to move on with a life that was not working for me and find a way to make things work. Its taken a long time to realize it but the relationship wasn't working and I needed out. Its easier to see these things from the outside looking in, than the inside looking out.
Sadly and also happily, I'll be leaving to head to NH on Saturday. I feel like its time to move on with my life; I'm ready to make another big move and finally establish myself in the world. I know I'll miss my family, but being up north feels like home to me, it always has. Even now, when I don't really have a "home", but am just staying with friends until I get settled, the Appleseed (which is where I'll be staying) feels more like home than anything else right now.
To my loyal blog followers, even though I wouldn't be getting lucky in Kentucky anymore, I'll still continue to write. I don't think this journey that I'm on is quite over yet and there will be plenty more moments to share with you all.
P.S.: when and if any of you ever get the chance to visit Kentucky, I strongly recommend it; I even know of a small little farm in a place called Elizabethtown that always welcomes guests.
Surprisingly, Kentucky has been really peaceful and relaxing. There's not much to stress about here, and being around the animals has been pretty awesome too. I've also managed to lose a little more than 10 pounds.
For the first time in a long time, I can say I'm truly happy. It almost brings me to tears to say that. It sounds like such a cliche, but with everything that happened, I was forced to move on with a life that was not working for me and find a way to make things work. Its taken a long time to realize it but the relationship wasn't working and I needed out. Its easier to see these things from the outside looking in, than the inside looking out.
Sadly and also happily, I'll be leaving to head to NH on Saturday. I feel like its time to move on with my life; I'm ready to make another big move and finally establish myself in the world. I know I'll miss my family, but being up north feels like home to me, it always has. Even now, when I don't really have a "home", but am just staying with friends until I get settled, the Appleseed (which is where I'll be staying) feels more like home than anything else right now.
To my loyal blog followers, even though I wouldn't be getting lucky in Kentucky anymore, I'll still continue to write. I don't think this journey that I'm on is quite over yet and there will be plenty more moments to share with you all.
P.S.: when and if any of you ever get the chance to visit Kentucky, I strongly recommend it; I even know of a small little farm in a place called Elizabethtown that always welcomes guests.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Alabama Slamah!
I just got back to Kentucky from an insane weekend in Alabama. My good friend, Jenn, from Quinnipiac, works at Auburn University in Alabama. I figured since it was only 7 hours from my parents' house and since I'd probably never get back to Alabama, this would be a once in lifetime trip, and that it was.
I left Kentucky Friday morning and spent the day making the 470 mile drive to Jenn's place. I stopped a few times on the way down, since I had extra time to make the trip. When Jenn got home from work, we were able to catch up for a bit, before heading out. We went to dinner and had some amazing food, including corn nuggets. They were fried deliciousness - bits of creamed corn fried and then dipped in honey mustard. Heavenly!
After that, we headed to a bar in downtown Auburn, Bodega. We sat for a while catching up and generally having a good time. Jenn's friend, Keven, met up with us for some good times. Keven just took the bar last week too, so he was looking to do a bit of celebrating as well, and we did just that.
Around midnight we headed to a bar called The Supper Club. The Supper Club is known for good cover bands and they stay open until 5am. In the back of the bar, there's a broken down bus that you get on just for shots. We did a round of shots on the bus and then moved inside to listen to the cover band, Rumor Mill. They did a lot of stuff from the 80s and 90s and were pretty good. Fun to dance to and fun to listen to.
I met some random guys, from some unknown location, whose names I definitely don't remember, that just started buying us drinks and so we let them. I think we stayed at the bar until maybe 4am, however, I'm not really sure since I was beyond drunk.
We got up around 10:30 the next morning, and I knew before I could even move it was going to be a rough day. A few minutes after we woke up, I realized my purse was MIA. We couldn't find it anywhere in Jenn's apartment. We even drove back to the Supper Club, but of course it wasn't there either. I barely made it through lunch with Jenn and her friends, before I had to get back to Jenn's apartment to hunt down my purse. Fortunately, I found it under her bed; I'm sure I placed it there for safe keeping, during my drunkenness.
I spent the rest of the day dying on Jenn's couch, to be cured from my horrendous hangover at about 7pm. We spent the rest of the evening watching old episodes of "How I Met Your Mother." I liked the show and I even think I am going to go out and get Season 1 on dvd this week.
This morning, Jenn and I grabbed some grease-tastic breakfast at IHOP and reminisced about the insanity of this weekend. We did a quick tour of Auburn University, too. Jenn managed to give me lots of Auburn swag to come home with too.
Sadly, I had to leave the wonderful place of Auburn to come home today. The drive was much faster this time and I got home around 8:30 pm.
I left Kentucky Friday morning and spent the day making the 470 mile drive to Jenn's place. I stopped a few times on the way down, since I had extra time to make the trip. When Jenn got home from work, we were able to catch up for a bit, before heading out. We went to dinner and had some amazing food, including corn nuggets. They were fried deliciousness - bits of creamed corn fried and then dipped in honey mustard. Heavenly!
After that, we headed to a bar in downtown Auburn, Bodega. We sat for a while catching up and generally having a good time. Jenn's friend, Keven, met up with us for some good times. Keven just took the bar last week too, so he was looking to do a bit of celebrating as well, and we did just that.
Around midnight we headed to a bar called The Supper Club. The Supper Club is known for good cover bands and they stay open until 5am. In the back of the bar, there's a broken down bus that you get on just for shots. We did a round of shots on the bus and then moved inside to listen to the cover band, Rumor Mill. They did a lot of stuff from the 80s and 90s and were pretty good. Fun to dance to and fun to listen to.
I met some random guys, from some unknown location, whose names I definitely don't remember, that just started buying us drinks and so we let them. I think we stayed at the bar until maybe 4am, however, I'm not really sure since I was beyond drunk.
We got up around 10:30 the next morning, and I knew before I could even move it was going to be a rough day. A few minutes after we woke up, I realized my purse was MIA. We couldn't find it anywhere in Jenn's apartment. We even drove back to the Supper Club, but of course it wasn't there either. I barely made it through lunch with Jenn and her friends, before I had to get back to Jenn's apartment to hunt down my purse. Fortunately, I found it under her bed; I'm sure I placed it there for safe keeping, during my drunkenness.
I spent the rest of the day dying on Jenn's couch, to be cured from my horrendous hangover at about 7pm. We spent the rest of the evening watching old episodes of "How I Met Your Mother." I liked the show and I even think I am going to go out and get Season 1 on dvd this week.
This morning, Jenn and I grabbed some grease-tastic breakfast at IHOP and reminisced about the insanity of this weekend. We did a quick tour of Auburn University, too. Jenn managed to give me lots of Auburn swag to come home with too.
Sadly, I had to leave the wonderful place of Auburn to come home today. The drive was much faster this time and I got home around 8:30 pm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
