Epiphany

A few days ago, I finally had this amazing epiphany about my life and what I've been going through. When I first failed the bar, I was devastated and in complete denial. I went through this period where I thought the bar was going to send me this letter and let me know there was a mix-up, that I really had passed the bar. I was so deep in denial that I had failed.

When I really started studying in Kentucky, I was able to move past the denial and get down to work. Clearly being a lawyer is something I have always wanted to be, and I'm not going to give it up.

I was in the kitchen a few days ago with the Petes, and Big Pete turned to me and said, "I think you're here for a reason right now." I didn't have to stop and think because I completely agreed with him. I think everything that I've gone through in the past year was for a reason. I think I failed the bar because I needed to realize my life wasn't going in a good direction. I also think I failed the bar because it forced me to leave a relationship, that already wasn't working.

I think it all happened for a reason. It gave me a wonderful summer with my parents and Freddie, which I probably would have never had but for failing the bar. It gave me re-direction on my life and determination to reach my goals. It also reminded me that NH is home. Coming here after a summer in Kentucky, I now know I want to be in NH; this is my home and always will be. Finally, I am ok and I am at peace with the fact that I failed the bar.

I feel like as horrible as it was when I failed the bar and how devastated I was, its ok now. I am going to be a lawyer, I am going to get a job and I am going to achieve my goals.